Of Pomp, Festivity and Politics in Weddings - Shivani Mohan (Issues) / Khaleej Times 5 December 2009

It is that time of the year when an average Punjabi family gets inundated with wedding invites daily. The wedding season is on and the air is thick with anticipation and festivity. This is a season of indulgences and celebrations, of dressing up to the hilt and dressing down all your real and imagined rivals. Punjabis love to show off. They love the glitter and the bling, the ‘show-sha’ and the ‘shor-sharaba’ along with the shehnai. Maybe it has something to do with geography—a state that was always open to conquests for centuries—that they live in the moment and live well. Many of today’s Punjabis in India had to cross over during partition to the Indian side with whatever they could overnight and start all over from scratch. Hoarding and acquiring became ingrained qualities of their nature. All Indian weddings are loud, boisterous affairs. My oldest memories of attending weddings are associated with how once or twice a year, we were packed away from the sanitised, straight-jacketed environment of an obscure Indian cantonment to attend the wedding of some country cousin in Punjab. The ‘Shadi wala ghar’ would be chock-a-block with guests and relatives who would come over days in advance. A fun feast of flavours, noises, pranks and songs ensued. An inhouse halwai would dole out hot meals and crisp fried snacks such as shakkar paras  and matthi . The guests mingled freely and shared rooms, rotis and razais. There were no fixed meal times because the kitchen ran round the clock. Breakfasts would effortlessly blend into brunches which would then slowly veer towards lunch, while the evening tea would start brewing. Meanwhile, the dal for dinner simmered all day in a coal chulah boiling and bubbling over in a corner, until it developed a consistency so velvety and divine. For a foodie like me this was heaven. This was also the time for hearts to go aflutter. In conservative households, this was a free for all, no holds barred time when a harmless flirtation went on behind the scenes between youngsters and new alliances would be planned on the spot. No wonder Punjabi weddings are a theme done to death by Hindi movie producers and directors, many of whom too belonged to this refugee clan, and who true to their Punjabi blood, would not abstain from milking a cash-cow to glory. When the legions of Hindi cinema are catalogued, I am sure films based on Punjabi weddings will be a genre in itself. Think DDLJ, KANK, Monsoon Wedding, Dev D and many more-movies that conjured the spirit of Punjab in a three hour capsule. Today marriages in Punjab have become an ostentatious affair. They are losing that earthy warmth and turning into event-managed extravaganzas. Politicos take the lead turning their weddings into political jamborees where they try to win over the masses. The pre-wedding party of Bikram Singh Majithia, a Punjab MLA and brother-in-law of Deputy CM Sukhbir Badal was attended by 20,000 guests. The roads leading to Majitha, a town near Amritsar were built and redone overnight. The post wedding reception in a farmhouse near Mohali had all the political bigwigs of the region. Popular Punjabi singers Hans Raj Hans, Harbhajan Mann and Sukhwinder Singh entertained 4000 guests in a 4 acre farm house totally bedecked with an abundance of flowers with over 1500 policemen deployed for security. In another wedding in Ludhiana this week, a Hollywood-like set on the theme of ‘The Mummy’ was created over 6 acres of land. Artisans were hired from Bollywood, Kolkata and Kerala and five from Hollywood who were part of the unit that created the original sets of the movie. There were murals and Egyptian urns and a Sphinx statue at the entrance. The side walls were covered with over 500 life sized murals and statues of Nefertiti, Cleopatra, Egyptian dieties, soldiers and royal servants. The glitterati present included Mugdha Godse, Jimmy Shergill, Rajesh Khanna and other paid stars at hand to welcome the guests. These trends percolate down the line, with each class of people trying to overspend in spectacular soirees even if they have to borrow money and take loans for life. Today any little hamlet in Punjab, from Bhatinda to Jullunder boasts of these glitzy, gargantuan marriage palaces that showcase disproportionate wealth during weddings. Whether these towns have quality schools and well-equipped hospitals is a different story. I have five invites to some such weddings this winter and might I say, I am a bit perturbed. With age, the foodie in me is frazzled with health issues. These weddings are affairs where you easily put on a pound per hour. Dare you enter these high calorie zones with a proclivity to eat healthy. There is the over exuberant Mummyji, mother of the groom, an overdressed, over-the-top, and need I say over-weight woman pocketing the shagun envelopes with ardent speculation into a big patent leather bag, urging you to sample the fare ranging from Sarson da saag to Sushi. Meanwhile, the impromptu Bhangra and Gidda the family members used to indulge in in days of yonder have been replaced by Commercial Dance Troupes where a bunch of half dressed nymphets gyrate nonchalantly to risqué numbers while Pappu, his papa and grand papa feast their eyes collectively from different corners of the hall. Make shift bars operate in vans parked outdoors in discreet lanes, with many a Happy and Lucky becoming a bit happy-go-lucky, which is when they decide to dance to a blaring ‘Oye Lucky Lucky Oye’. There is so much action all around that it is very easy to simply forget the bride and groom who sit bored on two throne like chairs on a massive stage. A bit irked at the happenings around, I prod the Mummyji, “Aunty, Isn’t everyone talking of austerity these days?” “Austerity? My Jimmy Choo-ed foot! It’s not every day that you get your children married. What are a few crores here and there when the whole country is talking about this wedding. We Punjabis know how to organise a wedding. Nothing less for my Pappu.” Still determined to burst her bubble a bit, I persist, “ Actually Shilpa Shetty had the wedding of the year really. Now that was really talked about.” “ Yes, after all her husband is Punjabi too. Arre, we had all plans of calling Shilpa Shetty to welcome the guests. But she spoiled all the fun by getting married on the same date as my Pappu!” Like I said, the Mummyji reigns! Shivani Mohan is an India-based writer. For feedback, write to Opinion@khaleejtimes.com